This has been one heck of a year. I had a lot of life-changing things happen: lost Rosie, decided to end some not-good friendships (life is just too short), kept my job despite a reorg (hurrah!), completed my MA (hurrah!). At the same time, I call 2013 “The Year That Wasn’t” because while it was busy, I didn’t feel present. Most of my focus was school, school, school. And, of course, Rosie during the first quarter.
Talking about it still makes me tear up! I miss her so much. I am so glad, however, that I had that necklace made. It’s a happy way for me to remember her. I have a habit of fiddling with my pendants, so whenever I touch that little rose I think of my Rosie, and I feel happy. I know my muffin girl is in a better place enjoying a lot of sunbeams.
I also appreciate that I was able to grieve. My family has always been a little “hands-off” when it comes to that. This was the first time I was able to weep openly, talk to friends, and really process everything instead of hiding and/or ignoring it. Losing Rosie was incredibly painful, but I am grateful I was able to process it in a healthy way. This was a big change for me!
School…oof. Prior to this year, the classes were graduate-level: tough, but manageable. This year, when I had to start my action research proposal and project, OMG. It was like shifting into a PhD program. (Fewer than half of us who started the class completed it – and passed, if that gives you any indication. Some got through the entire semester and learned they had to retake at least part of it.) Not to mention, there was the stress of dealing with an incredibly tough professor…and my own negative voice of “I can’t do this!”
This class felt like running a marathon, and completing it, only to be told at the very end, “Okay, now you just have to run a 5K and you’ll be done!”
But I made it. And I’m proud of myself, and my classmates, for making it through. For me, it was more than just getting a diploma or a bump in pay (hahaha – like that will ever happen); it was a chance to grow, put a lot of negative thoughts to bed, and be proud of myself and my abilities. That is worth more than any promotion I could ever get.
Which leads me to the good times this year! I will always remember dancing around with Rosie, or having her lay on me and purr (“Mom and Me Time”) as we watched tv. The friends who cheered me on during my “marathon” (or more appropriately, pulled me as I cried!). And of course the two black kitties who padded into my life and made my heart feel whole again.
They both have adoption stories, which I will share later. Today, though, I’ll just say how happy I am that Grizzy jumped in my lap in the adoption room. “Baby G” cries if I haven’t petted him enough and has to be touching me when I’m in bed. I love him so much.
And Sophie…my little wild woman. I knew when I saw her wrestle with her cagemate that she would be a good match for Grizzy. She helps him be brave, and she cleans his ears like a little mother. She also is sure to lay by my feet when I’m on the computer, and she snuggles under the covers with me for a few minutes every morning.
They are my two little peas in a pod, and I am so happy they came into my life, making oh-three a lucky year indeed; and how fitting, as they are both black!
This year has been interesting, in that I’ve been through a lot of difficult things, but due to the wonderful people in my life, I’m also able to stand here and feel fortunate and grateful. Now I need to set some goals for 2014 (one of which is updating here more often). I wish you all a blessed and very happy New Year!