The Rosie Bee

Starring Grizzy and Sophie

Monday musings

on April 27, 2015
Grizzy watching tv with me

Grizzy checking out “Game of Thrones”

The last few weeks I’ve been watching “Game of Thrones”. I’m caught up through Season 3. I think I’ll pick up the books, although I heard after the first book the tv series and the book series seem to diverge.

I suppose I’ve been watching more tv than usual lately because I’ve felt kind of overwhelmed or anxious. Nothing extreme; I’m certainly not having panic attacks or anything. It’s simply been this low-grade feeling. I’ve been having these not-quite-nightmares but definitely stress dreams lately, too. Overall I feel like there’s not enough time. Like it’d be so great to work part-time or take a nice long vacation. I haven’t taken a real vacation in years. The year before last I was finishing up grad school so vacations were out, and then last year my boss took leave and due to projects, there was no opportunity for me to take a vacation. Perhaps that explains the feeling overwhelmed, worn out, tired? Tired, literally. Friday night I slept 10 hours, then took a nap on Saturday, and Sunday I was pretty lazy, too.

Have you ever felt that way? I’m sure part of it is due to some life changes (work, whee!) and maybe some of it is getting older? I have to laugh as I type that, because I’m sure it sounds silly, but I remember how I did so much. Now if I’m gone more than two nights a week I’m all “Noooo!” The remembering also has me sometimes thinking “Coulda, shoulda, woulda.” I don’t sit around regretting things I did or didn’t do, but it goes with the lack of energy thing, I suppose. Like if I had bought a lottery ticket 10 years ago maybe I would be on a month-long vacation right about now. šŸ˜‰

In all honesty, I’m frustrated with this forced slowing down. But maybe it’s my body’s way of saying “Hey, you! You gotta slow down. Oh, you don’t want to? Well, watch this!” and bam! I’m tired.

Maybe it’s just a season of my life. I sure hope so. I miss having not just extra energy but more spring in my step. I feel very blessed and daily I say “thank you” for the good things in my life, so I’m not feeling down, per se. Just…tired.

I tell you what, though. Next year I’m taking a vacation. Next year will be the year I take a full week off! And I’m going out of state. Not quite sure where, but it’s happening. I’ve got a budgeting plan worked out and the whole nine yards. In the meantime, I’ll try to up the yoga and the vitamin D.

Happy Monday, all!

ETA: OK, this is the last straw. Last night I dreamed I was watching the cats look out the patio window and suddenly -GASP!-. I woke up, eye wide open, adrenaline pumping, knowing for sure *something* had happened. Naturally, nothing had, but I’m so over these stress dreams. Why do they keep happening? I don’t feel *that* stressed out! Argh.

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2 responses to “Monday musings

  1. Rene S says:

    Have you tried meditating? The podcast Meditation Minis has been wonderful, and they are short enough to fit into any schedule. I too have not had a vacation in nearly 8 years (trips to relatives don’t count IMO), so I feel your pain. Maybe you need to start up a new project–perhaps redo that little table set you bought this winter?

  2. rykmau says:

    Boy, I sure could relate to what you expressed. I thought I would be able to do more now that I’m retired but I just got lazier. It’s Saturday and/or Sunday every single day. LOL

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